Let it Out

I've been really confused these past few weeks. I don't remember the last time I actually had a real conversation with someone which consisted of more than, "Hi, how are you" and "I'm ok, just busy with school." I know I am taking 6 classes this quarter, but strangely, school has been the least of my worries this quarter. I've been holding in a lot of things, trying to handle them by myself.

I'm not really sure if this post is going where I want it to so I'm just gonna skip to where I want it to end.

Basically, I've been trying to handle all my problems between just myself and God. On one side, this has been really good as I've gotten used to just talking with Him at anytime throughout my day. On the other side, I've been collecting up a lot of emotions inside me.

Today is an especially emotional day. Its kind of weird to describe, but I can feel my emotions pounding inside my body-- pushing out from under my skin, trying to get out. I was going to stay in my room all day today to study, but I am literally shaking from everything going on inside me. I think I'm going to go to open gym tonight afterall. I really need to hit something and it would be convenient if that something was a volleyball.
p.s, don't worry, its nothing bad. its a beautiful day today. I'm happy.

p.s, the picture: I don't know if anyone else gets this, but I get a weird feeling while I stand at the edge of a high cliff before jumping. My heart wants to jump to feel the thrill of the fall, but my brain tells me to avoid danger. The resulting conflict between what my heart wants and what my brain thinks, produces a similar feeling to the feeling I described in my post. But then, when I finally muster up the courage to push my feet off that ledge, for a split second, time seems to slow as my mind and my heart are in perfect synchronization. For that split second, it feels like I am flying.