New [Last] Quarter!

Spring quarter has arrived.. and it didn't take its time either. I was excited to go to class today. But I don't think the excitement was from finally being done with my undergraduate. On the contrary, I will genuinely miss college and all the friends and memories I have collected over the years. Honestly, one of my biggest flaws is that I am a memory hoarder. Some people hoard newspapers, others hoard animals.. I hoard memories. I guess this is why I got into photography. It was a way for me to hold on to things that may not last forever.

Looking back, it seems a bit pointless for me to put so much effort into things that have already past, but still for some reason I really need to do it. Something inside me really wants to have that evidence that I was really there, or I really did that.

I printed out some new pictures and bought 100 clothespins (for only $1.00!). I added these pictures to the ones  I already had up in my room. Four rows of pictures looks several times more fulfilling than just two rows.

One by one I put up each picture, and each one sparked something in my brain, kind of like the scene Ratatouille, when Remy is eating the cheese and the strawberry together. In his mind all is dark, but after a bite of either the strawberry or the cheese, there is a tiny flicker of color. And then when he finally mixes the two together, an explosion of colors replaces the darkness. Each of my pictures has the same effect. Though the human brain is amazing in its ability to hold so much memory, often times our memories become dull; they lose their color. All it takes to revive that memory, is a picture.

This morning I opened my eyes to a wall of pictures. Sometimes as I go through life day to day, picture to picture, it is hard for me to see the blessings around me. But all these pictures, memories, blessings--stacked side by side reminded me of all the gifts I have been given. They give me joy and best of all hope. Then it wasn't so strange that looking back helped me to look forward.

Sometimes when your brain tells you not to,

and your heart wants to,
just do it!

examples:
- cliff jumping
- bringing the $215 dollars you found at Costco to the Lost and Found, instead of buying that gameboy pocket you wanted.
- the last couple of points of a close volleyball game (trust me, you can't win with just playing smart).
- loving by letting go
- letting go of anything for that matter
- Believing in God!
- blogging about feelings instead of studying during finals week.

1 down, 5 to go

I have to admit that before this quarter, I wouldn't think that anyone could take 6 classes in a single quarter. But now, after 10 weeks of taking 6 classes, I can wearingly say that it is not impossible. Strangely enough, this has been my best quarter (academically) yet. I am among the top 25% in each of my classes, and am even rank 1 in one class (I'm sure some of you can guess which class). However, there is one last obstacle which is consequent of six classes-- six finals. I have already taken one last wednesday, but there are still a whopping 5 remaining. I am comforted to know that UCLA is looking out for me, because somehow they scheduled my 5 finals to one a day next week.

It is not surprising then, that I will have very little to write about over the next few days. Furthermore, if I took a picture a day, it would probably just consist of a textbook, or notes, cause thats all I will be seeing this weekend.

Fortunately for us, Esther visited my room today to watch the laker game.

Its cool that I can talk to her about how strange Artest is, or how Pau would look bald. There's only one other female I know who enjoys watching Laker games with me, and thats my mom (but I think my mom has been habituated into watching laker games because shes the only female in our family). 

Anyways, I have 20 pages of EE132 notes with my name on it (literally). 

p.s, Connie Liu and I got into a fist fight today. I don't want to talk about it.

He Hits From Second Floor

Shaggy

Hagrid

Shagrid

Garbage

Garbo

Trash

The Big Friendly Giant

Big Guy

These are all the nicknames of my friend Nate who will be moving back to NorCal next week. I met Nate for the first time during welcome week of my freshman year. I ventured out to the IM field to check out club volleyball, and the first thing I see at the table is this 6'8'' monster of a guy shadowing over everyone around him. Amazing myself, I summoned up enough courage to ask him if the net set up behind him was open for anyone to play (JK Rowling says that giants, even half giants are prone to violence). 

Anyways, my memories of Nate from welcome week and the first day of open gym to the present are all jumbled up in a haze of Quicks, 3's, Steps, Pushes, back 1's, Pipes, and 4's. Wow, I guess I will miss him (or at least his hits). He's probably the only one at open gym who I can see and time my sets easily with. Our Quick and Push combo is nearly unstoppable on most nights, and melts other teams on good nights. I think we've only lost 1 game this year with him and me on the same team (and other select people). 

Last night, we had a party for him (thanks Gerren! and thanks Amy for the ride!). I'd say mafia, taboo, some card game that resembles poison, rockband, and meerkats were an appropriate farewell.

For a guy so tall, he also has a big heart. And even though hes usually the catalyst/target of trash talking at open gym, its all fun and games. Nate, your presence will surely be missed (its hard not to miss 6 feet 8 inches of giant).

Ending my Week on a High Note

So, I finally made it through my last class of this hectic quarter full of homework, lab reports, and other problems which one would only believe existed on TV. Anyways, I got out of my last senior design lab yesterday 1 hour past the listed end time. I ran over to Shroudenberglaksndalkn or however you spell the music building to watch a couple of my friends perform a concert with exotic chinese instruments. Mary told me the room was 3143, so when I got into the building I went straight to the stairwell and up to the 2nd floor. Unfortunately, that stairwell did go up to the third floor, so I ran to a map to direct myself to another stairwell. The next stairwell didn't go up a floor either.After a complete tour of the second floor of Shroedenbergaksnlad, I thought back to before I entered the building when I noticed the building didn't look high enough to contain 3 floors. Giving up, I went back down to the 1st floor and stopped to look at something interesting happening in one of the classrooms. After about 5 minutes of watching some wierd instrumental performance, I looked up at the room number... 1343.

Sadly, I had missed my friends' performance, but still it was nice seeing them all. I realized that lab reports have kept me from seeing any of them for nearly a week now.

Who wouldn't miss this peaceful bunch of asians?

I also went to the girls club practice so I could get a ride to Nate's party. I miss disciplined volleyball. To think that I used to be able to pass the ball instinctively to a target.

p.s, I sprained my ankle again at basketball this morning. Ugh. same ankle, I was wearing my brace too! WTH! It is worse this time though. I heard/felt it pop. I hope nothings broken. Time for my wolverine genes to come in again, they've been pretty active lately. I guess I'll get a lot of studying done now.

Let it Out

I've been really confused these past few weeks. I don't remember the last time I actually had a real conversation with someone which consisted of more than, "Hi, how are you" and "I'm ok, just busy with school." I know I am taking 6 classes this quarter, but strangely, school has been the least of my worries this quarter. I've been holding in a lot of things, trying to handle them by myself.

I'm not really sure if this post is going where I want it to so I'm just gonna skip to where I want it to end.

Basically, I've been trying to handle all my problems between just myself and God. On one side, this has been really good as I've gotten used to just talking with Him at anytime throughout my day. On the other side, I've been collecting up a lot of emotions inside me.

Today is an especially emotional day. Its kind of weird to describe, but I can feel my emotions pounding inside my body-- pushing out from under my skin, trying to get out. I was going to stay in my room all day today to study, but I am literally shaking from everything going on inside me. I think I'm going to go to open gym tonight afterall. I really need to hit something and it would be convenient if that something was a volleyball.
p.s, don't worry, its nothing bad. its a beautiful day today. I'm happy.

p.s, the picture: I don't know if anyone else gets this, but I get a weird feeling while I stand at the edge of a high cliff before jumping. My heart wants to jump to feel the thrill of the fall, but my brain tells me to avoid danger. The resulting conflict between what my heart wants and what my brain thinks, produces a similar feeling to the feeling I described in my post. But then, when I finally muster up the courage to push my feet off that ledge, for a split second, time seems to slow as my mind and my heart are in perfect synchronization. For that split second, it feels like I am flying.